From the LP. File under “summer jam” or what have you.
You know my band has a full-length album, The Dignity Of Man, coming out this year, right?
*giant jerkoff motion*
yeah and maybe if i read math for dummies i can possibly get a job at nasa
dialogue from inside my body
| cell a: | commander we have the reports on how he's dealing with being sick |
| cell b: | well out with it man |
| cell a: | looks like he's drinking plenty of water, along with medicinal lemon drink stuff, he's been spending plenty of time lying down, and he's made sure to eat relatively well. yesterday he had a broth-heavy soup from a vietnamese take-out joint, and today for lunch he had the leftovers. both mornings he ate a high-fibre cereal with fruit added in. he even had some blueberries earlier. |
| cell b: | blueberries have hell of antioxidants i think |
| cell a: | recon from the brain suggests he thinks the same thing, sir |
| cell a: | well all of this is excellent news. we'll be able to leave the sector in- |
| cell c: | i'm just getting a report from the ocular sensors, sir. they're saying he just put a couple of pizza pockets and some chicken strips into the oven? |
| cell d: | corresponds with the report i'm getting in from the mouth saying he just muttered "fuck it" |
| cell b: | maybe it's- |
| me: | BLUUUUUUUUERHGHHHHHHHH WHATEVER |
| cell b: | BATTEN DOWN THE HATCHES BOYS IT'S GONNA BE A ROUGH RIDE |
completely owns that the apprentice has a tumblr that just screencaps trump tweets
(Source: theapprenticenbc)
how am i even supposed to drunk-dial girls if the only way i communicate with people is via facebook IM
there is a town called sandwich in massachusetts
there are literally police cars labelled sandwich police
i live in Cumming don’t talk to me
cool two sets of police i’m on the lam from
(Source: timoodlesarchive, via christophekazoo)
I Love College: Turning Up at Yale's Spring Fling with Macklemore | NOISEY
We sent an adult to watch Macklemore perform at Yale’s annual music festival, and it made him realize that “tryhard” is an occupation.Shoutout to zombiecuddle dot tumblr dot com for the invite—I didn’t get into it in the article, but he and his friends devised an epic (yes, epic) beer pong variation built around several American wars. (We got through Revolutionary, 1812, Civil, Spanish-American and World I before losing steam.) More fun than Macklemore, even!
how you know i read all the way to the end: busted a gut at the tags
“I am on here looking for open mined guys that can help me with my anonymous cum fantasy. Inquire for details on how to make this happen. We do not meet but you supply me cum for my fantasy. If you are interested in finding out what it is inquire by contacting (tw200 at live.ca ) please messege me for details there not on here”
— online dating is the pits
